literature

The Day After the Funeral

Deviation Actions

brassteeth's avatar
By
Published:
1.2K Views

Literature Text

Her Husky arises every few minutes,
in order to expose different parts of its mottled coat
to the flickering fire,
the dog turns in a lazy stop-start orbit
of fur and slurry-jawed yawns.

Beside the same dying flames,
a leather-bound Bible rests
on my Grandmothers lap,

an hour or so ago
the old rocking chair creak
fell silent,

now her head of silver hair
slouches to a side,
bifocals searching for escape
from the tip of her wrinkled nose,
the slow purr of her outward breath
makes a comforting sign
of late-evening life.

I should really venture out
to the dark dewy fields,
out to the open night stars,
to gather more wood,

out to the cold midnight breeze
that chimes the patio flutes
and scratches the screen doors itch,

but not before I finish this job I started,

listing the names
of the dead I know, (or once knew)
on old writing paper I found today,
in my Grandfathers study,

a list far too long for a boy my age,
a list whose names now include his.
It's a quiet night.
Feed back for :iconthewrittenrevolution:

1. Overall Descriptive value of environs?
2. Tone...? Correct or needs work?
3. Length?

Link to critique:[link]
© 2012 - 2024 brassteeth
Comments39
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
HelevornArt's avatar
I love the rustic feel, this melancholic simplicity, the way the grandmother sleeps silently and life goes on apparently unchanged (the boy must still go and gather wood) - it's that sort of feeling you get when you struggle to think "he was old, I knew he would die, this was no surprise" and yet it all feels so empty and you just wish he could have stayed a little longer... It's sad, but it's described in a beautiful and realistic way. I found it very touching.