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If I could drink you from the sky tonight
I would -
drink the brown bourbon blackness
with stars for ice -
as the moonlit-salty neon line
separates the land
from the lonely battered void.

I'll raise a glass to the sky tonight
while the neon splits and the world crashes through
like a broken neck
see me praying you were here - through tumbleweed canyons
through all the static porno waves
that crowd the space between us,

and in swollen spite 
watch me clean my bony drunken theatre
of all your hungry, truant atoms.

(time)

Fear ebbs - a sober starlight wakes me
cold - inside paltry sobs
I gather you like kindling from the ground - tossed polaroids
in the wind
stack you upon your pedestal
with you watching down
through all this madness
through the bleached love/guilt curtains
like an angel.

Watch me drink to you in the sky tonight
with me still caught in this thickening land
like a quantum boxed-in slave,
like Schroder’s cat, like I might be alive
but I might be dead.
Maria flat across the back seat half full needle of something rides shotgun
my plateless Dodge shakes through San Fran near dusk, I can see away
the building the white neon - the cross, of all the miracles we might make it

reach back two fingers to her neck feel a pulse got it

Van Ness a steel snake a stigmata of coke cans - pepper gutters, the leaving
sky clutches a final urgent burn - my ribs a snapping cage for a demon trapped
heart pounding pounding. Maria always in my tilted rear-view eyes rolling back

hold on baby, hold on

back to road, banging the wheel radio barks me through the sharp theatre
of shadows that spring constant, sundown whores and homeless breathe
like humans under wheezy billboards, blanket beds, traffic, people everywhere
come on. come on.

reach back two fingers to the neck feel a pulse got it

more cars. shirts say Giants she stirs in the back, pukes a green something
to the floor drops her head again, I think I scream hang on through spit
and salt and the hard flint night starts to soak up our going nowhere minutes
like a chemical.

too many songs in one place. near the bridge a wall of horns and static metal and
my mind hazes a vision of carrying her in my arms the final mile towards the white cross
of the hospital, or howl for a siren on this stagnant spot. calling for someone now, calling
the gods to send a better version of me

reach back two fingers feel a pulse got it

stopped too long I punch hard, glass sprays, scream from someone blood across
my face, my arm all snot and cuts - another me knows today defines, slow drive means
city grins, judges, weighs us both, deciding to complete the suffering. help help  
me wailing. turn to face Maria

baby its the traffic. cant make it

glass on road and on my lap, someones coming, strangers towards the Dodge,
open my door - I drop people with serious faces concerned strange eyes. the back
door of the Dodge opens, people, Maria flat on the road now surrounded I crawl
to her reach for her across angers of smashed shards

two fingers feel a pulse

two fingers feel a pulse…
O.D
Came about through reading the always thought provoking work of and a brief comment to the very fine: :iconthetaoofchaos:

An experiment in pace.

Submitted to :iconthewrittenrevolution:
Comments/Critique Link: comments.deviantart.com/1/1612…

working title: Urgency

How does the pace and format feel?
Does it add to the feeling of charge..?
Does the flow create urgency and make you read faster or does the lack of punctuations stop and start you?
How about the symbology and observations, any comments?
Loading...

Critiques

deviantID

brassteeth
Christopher M
Artist
The willows are thinking again about thickness,
slowness, lizard skin on hot rock,
and day by day this imagining transforms them
into what we see: dragons in leaf, draped scales
alongside the river of harried, spring-stirred silt.

Summer Grass

Roo Borson


Short Journey Upriver
Toward Oishida

Current Residence: Annahoriasticin
Favourite genre of music: Country or Western
Favourite style of art: Literature
Favourite cartoon character: God
Interests

Visitors

:iconffleret:
ffleret
Oct 29, 2014
12:39 am
:iconsouthsydney:
SouthSydney
Oct 25, 2014
3:43 pm
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland
Oct 23, 2014
6:23 am
:iconfoxy-soul:
Foxy-Soul
Sep 26, 2014
2:39 am
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk
Sep 24, 2014
9:23 am

Quotes from the Masters

"Once there were brook trout in the streams in the mountains. You could see them standing in the amber current where the white edges of their fins wimpled softly in the flow. They smelled of moss in your hand. Polished and muscular and torsional. On their backs were vermiculate patterns that were maps of the world in its becoming. Maps and mazes. Of a thing which could not be put back. Not be made right again. In the deep glens where they lived all things were older than man and they hummed of mystery."

— Cormac McCarthy

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner 3 days ago   Writer
As always, it's good to see you around.
Reply
:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner 3 days ago
I am always around reading and thinking. It just seems like words don't come easy....so I don't write anything just for the hell of it.
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner 3 days ago   Writer
I certainly appreciate that you need a purpose to write. I'm the same way. I find it difficult to relate to the notion of writer's block.  For me, either it's time to write or it isn't.
Reply
:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Chew 
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is Soooo late... :blush:
Thanks for favoring "Happy as a Fruit Fly" BT. :heart:
Reply
:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner 6 days ago
:relax:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014
Christopher, it's never enough times for me to remind how much I appreciate your constant support of my work, and for the fave you bestowed on my poem, "Smooth Pebbles".  You left me a lovely comment on the poem's page but I had become ill and was in hospital and then spent many weeks at home recuperating (and still am but fortunately growing a little stronger, bit by bit) so I was never able to respond with a proper and grateful reply.  So please take this comment as part of that long-due reply, and my deep thanks to you.  :thanks:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2014
Hey, thanks for faving my recent DD Ironman. I really appreciate the support :eager:
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014   Writer
Thanks again!
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014   Writer
<3 Thank you so much for the favorite.
Reply
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